An odd feeling
So today is the day that Charlie goes to Nursery for the very first time, well actually that's not quite accurate, he's been there twice before now, but they were just for taster sessions for half an hour and an hour. But today is the first time that he is there for a full session. He is there on the morning session, our nursery offers, 3 slots; AM, PM or full day.
For some people reading this they may think well what's the big deal, he's going to nursery and you get the day to do what you want. Well yes you are right on one count, we do get the day, the majority of it do what we want, but it's still a weird feeling.
Now whenever you do anything new for the first time you are always a little apprehensive but the more you do it, the more natural it feels. But dear reader I will be really honest with you here, it feels strange. This is the first time in 3 years that he has been away from us.
Our family dynamic is a little different from most peoples I would imagine. Our family doesn't live as close to each other as we'd like. Bex's parents are over 300miles away, my family is also spread across a good distance. So we (Me, Bex and Charlie) spend pretty all our time together. Don't get me wrong, we try to see them as much as we can, but with the distance, it can be difficult, as well as expensive with the fuel prices these days!
In the whole 3 wonderful and amazing years that the little dude has been with us we have only left him with others for maybe an hour at a time, so a full day for us is a novelty.
I suppose I'm starting to really get a handle, albeit slowly slowly catchy monkey, on the whole stepping back and letting him go and be himself without worrying that the worst is going to happen.
Prime example of this was last year in Manchester when we went to Lightopia. There was an amusement fair there with loads of rides and of course Charlie wanted to go on one! He choose the ride with cars on a track that when round and up over a bridge. Jesus Christ I was having palpitations when he pointing and said he wanted to go on that! I paid the £2 and put him on the motorbike he picked. Can you hear my heartbeat?!
I said the guy operating the ride can I stand in the middle and keep an eye on him, I was absolutely certain he was going to stand up, fall and break his neck! In reality the height of this ride was about 3ft.
The ride guy said one thing to me "its the parents who are the nervous ones, they just get on with it" and you know what he was right. The ride started with lights, sirens and a steady jolt,
my boy was off and having the time of his life!
I stood taking photos and watching him like a hawk!
Today was the same thing, that apprehensive feeling started to set in. I had spent around 10minutes last night getting all his things ready for the off this morning. Clean clothes were laid out, a spare pair of clothes packed, wipes and of course his favourite teddy, which actually a cat.
At 10minutes to 8 we were stood outside the nursery waiting for them to open and let him run free. I was in a little world of seasoned parents who have been dropping their kids off at nursery for god knows how long. As I looked around, Charlie's hand in mine, Bex anxiously looking on, thoughts of 'I hope he has a good time', and 'I hope he shares with the other kids' I thought back to that night in Manchester and what that ride operator said to me,..."they just get on with it" and you know what he's right.
The doors to the nursery flung open at 8am sharp and without a second look he was in, straight up the stairs to his pre-school, leaving me in his dust to hand over his bag and paperwork and explaining the staff its his first day, reassuringly and with a huge smile they took the things from me and said 'he'll be fine' and wish me a good day.
The takeaway from this is that we as parents are the ones who are learning every day, not the other way round and its our children who are the one does the teaching. It's a scary thing to do to let your child do something for the first time, but that's just it, it's the first time and that's the worst part over. From now on it will just be the norm.
Still it feels a little odd him not being here, but hey there's only 3 hours till we pick him up!
Love DB x