• DB

Oh Sh*t


The ‘oh Sh*t’ moment

So here we were both of us in the bathroom waiting for the stick my wife had just pee’d on to tell us what we hoped and prayed for was true. That was the longest 3minutes of my life. The one thing I remember the most about that moment was the silence.

But hold up a minute how did we get to this point? Rewind two years!

Me and Bex (my wife) had been trying to get pregnant for two years, and I know in the world of trying to get pregnant that is a drop in the ocean compared to some couples but for us it seemed like a lifetime. We had tried everything, we were tracking her cycles so we had sex at the best time, by no means were we going to bed with the attitude of ‘right, we must have sex right now and get pregnant’ but it was coming near that point. You see all I have ever wanted in the life was to be a Dad. For as long as I can remember I have always imagined that moment of coming home and having my Son or Daughter come running up to me and shouting ‘Daddy!’, man that’s a pretty awesome thing to have and want.

But for some reason we just couldn’t get pregnant. I mean we were both doing it right, it’s not something that you can get wrong, but it just wasn’t happening. So the first point of call was to get rid of any form of contraception. We had been talking about having kids for a while before we started trying and when the decision was made we started by getting her implant taken out.

Now before we go any further I want to say that I’m not a massive fan of blood. I mean I’m now wuss and I love horror movies but the sight of it in real life isn’t something I look forward to seeing!

So the day came for the implant to be taken out and we went to our local health care centre. To be honest with you it’s the kind of place they send people when the local hospital is overwhelmed and can’t be bothered with the minor stuff. You get all sorts there! We were seen into a room and told to wait. She seemed pretty alright, maybe a little nervous and I was doing my best to reassure her. Now the lady who showed us in told us someone will be in shortly. Now this room was hotter than a sauna, well that’s how I remember it, another thing I remember is the nurse bringing out this scapulae which was the size of a Katona blade and thrusting it into her arm. This is when the blood announced its arrival like a river bursting its banks! At this point I felt fine, still reassuring my wife that it’ll be ok and the pain will go away in a minute or two. I’m not sure if they stitched her arm or covered it with a plaster, the next couple of minutes are a bit of a blur.

We were wished on our merry way with a ‘good luck and nice to see you’. So let’s recap at this point:

  1. the room was hotter than Satan’s living room

  2. I was extremely nervous and concerned for my wife

  3. We had just made a huge life decision and concluded that this was the moment we had decided that we were going to start a family

Like I say those couple of minutes after leaving are a bit blurry, but the next thing I remember is looking at the floor, which was very out of focus. The reason it was out of focus, well I had fainted and head butted the floor! 3 times I did this, I can assure you that the floors at the health centre are extremely hard!

So here were getting my wife’s implant taken out ready to start a family and boom I’m on the floor like a sack of potatoes and to boot in front of the entire waiting room. After a quick ride in an ambulance to the actual hospital we came home to jump on the good foot and do the bad thing!

So fast forward back to the bathroom we’re still waiting on the pee stick! Here we go, the allotted time had past and we dared to look at the stick of destiny. And hey, what dya know two lines, we were pregnant.

We were pregnant, a sentence that we never thought we would say. Want to know the first thought that flashed through my head, well it was ‘oh sh*t’ here we were big two kids about to start the process of turning into parents.

Once the initial shock had sunk in and our faces had the ear to ear smiles removed by a crack team of surgeons we hugged, with my wife still planted on the toilet!

And for now that’s the story for today...

Love DB

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