• DB

Stern...urm?!

Updated: Aug 11, 2018

Recently I’ve had a rare bit of time off work due to taking some much needed holiday and due to some ill health. The holiday time I took was planned and was actually spent clearing the house of sh*t, 26 bin bags went to the local tip!! Man that felt

amazing to get rid of that rubbish! And I say Ill health, that sounds a bit drastic, even for me. Bex calls me ‘DQ’ which stands for Drama Queen! Actually thinking of getting the letters DQ as a tattoo!!


What actually happen was this...I had potentially fractured my sternum. I came to this realisation after consulting that well known medical professional, Doctor Google. After reading all the symptoms,pains and aches associated with this type of fracture I very quickly determined that this was indeed the source of my pain. I’d love to be able to regale you with some fantastical tale of how I potentially earned this injury, of dramatic scenes with explosions, or even how I picked it up when I saved that school bus full of kids from plummeting over the edge of some cliff, but in all honesty I can’t actually tell you; this is simply because I have absolutely no idea how it happened! The Usually suspects for this type of injury are;


1). Being involved in a car crash as a passenger and the seat belt tightening across your chest...

2). Being the driver of a car that’s crashed (either head on or otherwise) and you hurtling at the speed of light into the steering wheel or even being injured by the impact of the airbag deploying

Interesting fact, did you know that modern airbags deploy at over 200mph!! That’s gonna leave a mark!!

3). You have experienced some blunt force trauma to the chest


Well I can certainly tell you that I haven’t experienced 1,2 or 3, unless my excessive snoring or clicking during the night has drove Bex to wallop me one! Hmmm let’s not explore that option too much!!

The process of me finding out how I hadn’t fractured it all started with me actually admitting that I was in pain. I mean come on guys you know how it is, we’re hard!! We don’t admit that we’re in pain or can’t handle a little wince everyone now and then! Well to be honest I’d been putting up with the pain for well over two weeks. When I say pain I mean a constant niggle that made it hard to breathe and tender to touch the area. So a call to the 111 service lead me speaking to a very nice lady who asked me all sorts of standard medical questions, some which obviously didn’t apply to me at that time but she was reading from a script. I mean some of them were so far removed from what I was actually feeling that if I wasn’t worried or concerned about my pain before ringing I certainly was whilst speaking to her!

I could hear a certain air of doubt and uncertainty in her voice and it wasn’t until she said ‘I’m going to get a a Paramedic to call you’ did I suddenly think ‘sh*t what is actually wrong with me!’. 5 minutes later a very professional and calming sounding paramedic called me back and within less than 3minutes he had decided that he would like me be seen by an actually real life Paramedic.

Now in Blackpool where we live, the Northwest Ambulance Service have three paramedic cars which attend non serious calls. I have the paramedic on the phone who confirmed our address, he hung up and a quick tidy of the front room was done. I mean come on, I maybe Ill and in pain but I still have standards!

Within 6minutes of ending the call with the medic, an ambulance arrived on our street and pulled up outside our house! Know I didn’t know this until Bex said me to me ‘You’ve got blue lights and all!’ I actually thought she was joking until 3 paramedics knocked on the door and came rushing into the house with 2 big machines. I was hooked up, readings were taken and I recanted my medical woe! Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Their observations found that I was medical sound and they looked confused! Now Charlie loved this, strangers in our house who had arrived in a vehicle which to him must have resembled something out of a cartoon! He was looking out the window at the flashing lights, admired the strange new toys which were beeping and buzzing on the floor and Bex looked concerned. All the while I’m sat there looking like iron man with the hood up!

So the confused medics offered me a ride in their ambulance to spend some time at the local hospital, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse, literally! All of us wanted answers to my pain! So my Friday afternoon plans of spending time at home turned into 2hours at the local A&E. Now considering all the bad press you hear about waiting times and how the NHS isn’t hitting targets on waiting times I didn’t actually think this was too bad at all!!

Now you I’m telling you all this because it’s honestly been the first time I’ve actually had the time to sit and write it all down and when I read it all back, I can definitely class that as a ‘DQ’ moment, Dam I’m really gonna have to get that tattoo!

It’s currently 6:50am and I am the only one in the entire house who is awake, up and out of bed. I’d like to say dressed but I’ll leave that bit to your imagination. The dogs aren’t even up and they’re usually the 1st up wanting to be let out of their crate and do that mad dive down the stairs. I mean the way they speed downstairs and the way their legs move, it’s a wonder they don’t come off!

I’m not up at this time for a particular reason but the truth of the matter is that I just woke up. Maybe on this rare occasion I got enough sleep! Image that a parent of a 1year getting enough sleep!

I actually do love being awake at this time. The house is quiet, there’s no one about on the street outside and it’s just a little too early to switch the TV on. This time of the day always make me think of how lucky I am to be where I am today and how much I enjoy being a parent. I genuinely can’t wait till I hear that little human start to stir, so I can go get him and start our day together, a day which certainly in our house is going to be filled with laughter and discovery. It also reminds me how important it is to look after myself too. These rare moments allow my mind to wander. Ok being the DQ that I am, my mind always wanders to the extreme, of what if I don’t and I die, how would Bex cope and what would Charlie do? I do genuinely worry and think about the future, when the day comes that I am dying and I have to say goodbye to my Son. Even now typing this my eyes are starting to flood with tears. How will he feel, how hard is he going to take it, how will I feel leaving him hurt? It sounds dramatic (DQ!) to think like this buts it’s what flashes through my head.

So guys and gals, my word of advice, and I’m talking to myself too here...for gods sake, take care of yourselves! Whatever it is, get it checked! You and I want to be around for a very long time to see our children grow, achieve and be better than we ever were.

Take care,

Love Dad x

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